Radical reporting from Detroit.
Screenshot: YouTube / WDIV Detroit (Fair Use)

Over in Detroit, a new community skatepark has almost finished construction, and a guy named “Mr. Premium” is already giving free skate clinic lessons to local children in the area. Pretty great, right? How nice is that to hear amidst all the other chaos? You deserve a reprieve from all that, so please, do yourself a favor today and make sure you watch the dispatch below until its conclusion (which is around the 2:00 mark).

Oh, hell yes, Victor Williams. Get. It.

Would we have ever steered you wrong? We need more journalists in the field like Mr. Williams, if we’re being honest… Not people willing to embed themselves in their stories to get at the brutal truths in the world, mind you. No, don’t be silly. We just want more news anchors who can shred.

“Free skateboarding lessons are happening at a new skatepark in Detroit. Of course I had to show the kids something on @Local4News,” Williams tweeted yesterday evening along with an abbreviated clip of his skate demo, adding, “In all seriousness – as a child, I would have killed for a new park and mentors in the skateboarding community. Glad to see it’s happening in Detroit.”

We anticipate a deluge of skate trolls piling on the clip in its comments section, claiming Williams isn’t actually doing anything all that complex, to which we say: Shut the absolute hell up, jerks. You try making it in Detroit, accomplishing just that, then closing out a live news piece while cruising around a skatepark populated by novice children in session with Mr. Premium.

And, if nothing else, which do you prefer: A human news anchor (and/or “Flourb0y”) on a skateboard, or our disquieting, future robot overlords? Yeah… that’s what we thought.

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